Getting lost while driving to Gainesville FL
“I was driving from the beach to Gainesville, and got into an argument with the voice navigation system in my brand new Toyota Sienna minivan.”
Dave is driving and arguing with his voice navigation system, which keeps trying to route him the wrong way despite his knowledge of the correct route to Gainesville. Dave ends up taking a detour and getting lost, but eventually finds his way back on track. Throughout the drive, Dave listens to classic rock music, and comments on the scenery and landmarks he passes, including the St. John’s River and the town of Palatka. Dave’s destination is the Central Florida podcasters meetup in Gainesville.
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Transcript
This transcript was automatically generated.
[Music]
This is the most hilarious
thing. I had to turn on my…
[Music]
Okay, this is my voice
navigation system.
[Music] Arguing with Led Zeppelin.
[Music] And me. And now they’re playing their sweet Daytona Beach, Florida.
Yeah, we’re at the junction of … We’re at Highway 207.
And I’m going to make a left turn.
Even though the navigation system wants me to go back to get on to Interstate 95.
[Music] See, yep, they want me to go the wrong way.
[Music] See, I’m trying to go to Gaines ville.
And the voice navigation system has this weird route planned and it hasn’t actually showed me what the route is.
And luckily this time I actually know where I’m going because the first time I let it take me somewhere was going to Orlando to get to the airport.
And when I did that… [Music] Well, God darn it.
It took me on the most back- root road way to get to the airport.
It got me there, but my nerves were so rattled.
And you got to know that there ’s like… Here, there’s a freeway.
Yeah, it’s going to complain now.
Okay, let’s hear.
Well, here we go.
Proceed about two miles.
Yeah, and at that point it wants me to make a right turn.
I don’t know where I’m supposed to go with that right turn, exactly.
Where that’s supposed to take me.
But yeah, so they took me back country route to the Orlando airport and it got me there.
And then coming back from the airport, I said, “Well, what I’m going to do is I’m just going to…” Because I’ve done that trip before, I’m going to basically just follow the signs to Daytona Beach.
And then just blow through all the instructions that the navigation system is giving me and then just see where that ends up taking me.
And, well, needless to say, I ended up not doing that.
And it was driving me instead of me driving it.
And it took me to a road that was closed.
And so I had no choice but to go in one direction.
When it wanted me to go straight, I couldn’t go straight.
I had to turn right and I couldn’t turn left.
So I turned right and got onto a big freeway.
And I was going west instead of east.
And it had me make a U-turn.
And then I went all the way around and then realized… In half of a mile for my turn.
That I was all the way back where I had begun.
I mean, I was back at one of the earliest turns after the airport.
So I went back and followed its instructions again.
And it took me right back to the place where there was no road.
And I did it again.
Except this time I made a left instead of a right and ended up going the… Ended up basically it got in sync and it said, “Wow, there’s a road I know. " And it… Yeah, I see, I’m not going to take this right.
Okay, I’m not going to.
Because I know that if I stay on 207… I’m coming up to Placka now.
No, Placka is 10 miles.
If I stay on 207, I’m going to get to Gainesville.
And I don’t care what they tell me, but this is the way you go to G ainesville.
Having done this about 80,000 times… Hitchhiked it a lot actually when I was a kid.
Next left and then one turn.
No, we’re not taking the next left, dear.
And then I had the thought when I got so frustrating that they could program this thing to get irritated with you .
I just said, “Look, I said to take a left, damn it.
Why didn’t you take that left?” But it never gets irritated.
She’s just the calmest person, but very, very, very stubborn about her way of doing things.
You either do it her way.
By the way, we’re passing the home of the Bulls Hit Ranch and Farm.
And we’re in the potato capital of Florida, in case you didn’t know that.
Proceed about three miles.
No, no, we’re not going that way.
Yes, I will proceed about three miles, but as we’re entering Putnam County, Florida… You know they grew potatoes in Florida? Yeah, well, they did.
They do.
And there’s palm trees, too.
Palm trees and potatoes, do they go together? Yeah, I guess they do here.
Anyway, this is quite a station we happen to do and do.
It’s hard rocked from the 1970s here.
Let’s turn it up a little bit.
It ain’t so hard to do if you know how.
Got to get a message, getting on through.
That’s the Doobie Brothers.
You got to listen to the music, yeah.
And one of their songs, Black Water, is one of my favorite songs.
I just cheer up whenever I hear it.
I’ve heard it about 80 billion times.
I just can never hear enough of that.
I just love that song.
It’s just great.
So here they do filtered and backhoe work and commercial m owing.
Yeah, you see we’re getting into the rural part here where they do that kind of stuff.
This isn’t like there’s no vacation rentals here.
They get tornadoes here, I think, too.
Kind of very, very flat.
And it’s very stormy today.
Very stormy because there’s a tropical storm.
Arlene is brewing over the Gulf of Mexico.
We get about 100 miles from here.
Maybe a little bit more, maybe 150 miles west of where I’m going west.
But right now, the road’s clear and it’s not raining.
And a beautiful four-lane highway with no traffic on it, almost no traffic.
It’s kind of an easy trip.
Of course, I do think I ought to pull over at some point and sort of reprogram this thing so that it stops being irritating.
I just thought it was so funny.
Here we go.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
No, we won’t.
No way.
I just thought it was really funny the way she was arguing while, you know, Led Zeppelin was playing some great classic rock song.
And, you know, it was like, who would have guessed it was what a… I guess that’s what they call a mashup, right? I mean, kind of a strange combination here.
Making legal U-turn.
No, no, no.
Okay, so let’s hear.
You’ll hear two beeps now.
Here.
That means that was where I was supposed to take the legal U- turn, but I didn’t.
Now let’s hear what she has to say now.
What do we want? Oh.
Proceed about three miles.
And then I’m going to make a left according to the computer readout.
This thing is practically worthless.
I paid thousands of dollars for this.
I mean, this was the same price as a laptop computer.
This doesn’t work worth a shit.
Weird.
I think maybe I have to learn how to use it though.
That’s the thing.
And that’s what I think I’m doing now.
It’s like, okay, I could have gotten onto the interstate there.
And where would that have taken me exactly? I would love to have seen the route that she had planned for me.
What if a Republican got hold of this? You know, based on your politics, you’re going to go this route.
And all of a sudden, oops, where did I end up? Uh-oh.
Sorry.
There’s many apologies to Republicans.
So where am I headed right now? I’m headed to Gainesville, where we’re going to have a Central Florida podcasters meet up.
And one of the guys, George Col ombo, is coming from Orlando.
And I think Kay Tramble is coming from Gainesville, which is weird, because I thought she was in Louisiana.
But I saw her posted somewhere that she was going to be there.
And that’s great.
I was glad to see her.
And honestly, I don’t know who else is going to be there.
I heard that somebody from some newspaper is coming to this thing.
So you never know, but I’m bringing my camera and I’m bringing my recorder.
I’m going to stay within the speed limit.
I was getting ready to pass some guy with a Kia Sportarage thing, or whatever it is.
I think we might be coming into Palakka about now.
Wow.
According to this thing, I’m going to be taking two hours and seven minutes to get to G ainesville.
But I’m not going the way they want me to go.
And half of a mile, lap turn.
That would be onto Cracker Sw amp Road, according to the read out here.
And Cracker Swamp Road sounds like a really great place for a Jewish guy to go.
How many guys like me come out of that place alive? That would be where I would think that the Republicans would want a guy like me to go.
Next lap.
Onto Cracker Swamp Drive.
How much you want to bet that goes to Cracker Swamp? Yeah.
Yeah.
Cracker Swamp.
There’s East Cracker Swamp Drive, and then there’s West.
And now, folks, we’re in East Palakka.
Proceed about one mile.
One mile, where they’re going to have me take a right turn.
Let me just get it, you know, luckily I printed out some directions from Google Maps.
I have those sitting out.
I’m going to put this down for a minute.
Maybe I’ll turn up the music a little bit here.
Let’s see what’s the deal here.
So, 207, continue on East Church Street, West Church Street.
Continue on 207, 207.
Okay, I’m going to go on 207 for another six miles, then turn right on State Route 100.
And before then, I’m going to stop and reprogram this thing.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
In half of a mile, right turn.
Yeah, in half of a mile, what I ’m going to do is I’m going to look for a place to stop.
Okay, folks, we’re going to put this thing to rest for a minute .
And you guys go to sleep for a bit.
You won’t remember anything when you wake up.
I’m going to pull into this gas station here.
And we buy houses.
Wow, that’s fun.
Cool.
And then here we are.
All right, very good.
Okay, you won’t remember a thing.
Okay, we’re back.
That pause could have been a lot shorter than it was.
I mean, I could have lifted on because it took me a lot less time.
I think that it was basically taking me to a place in a different city.
I think that’s what was going on.
And so I think that that’s why the instructions made no sense.
I think that I don’t know where I thought I had chosen the destination by the name of the restaurant.
And I was pretty sure that I had entered Gainesville.
But now instead of like a huge long distance, so what do they want me to do now? Oh boy.
Junction 17, 50 miles, one hour and 28 minutes.
In two tenths of a mile, right turn.
Okay.
Next right.
That’s what we’re going to do, folks.
We’re going to make us a right turn going north.
Well, this is quite a stretch, but we’re going to do it anyway .
Okay, we’re going to go right.
I’m following your instructions , honey.
Okay, black to two miles.
Yeah, this is familiar.
I’ve been here before.
This is one of the like, when you’re hitchhiking from New Orleans.
Approach speed about three miles.
When you’re hitchhiking from New Orleans, that was one of the places where you had to get out.
Because almost nobody was going to the beach from there.
So I’d usually stop at one of those places and get me a big tall cold can of bush beer and drink it right there.
Or out there, y’all.
I love the can of bush beer.
I used to drink beer then, not a lot, but I used to drink it somewhat.
And that’s where I would do it, because I was almost home, basically, at that point.
Almost there.
Almost, almost, almost almost there.
So now, if I’m not mistaken, we ’re going to cross the St. John ’s River, which is a huge, huge bridge.
Huge river, actually.
And Playa is a poor place.
It’s not rich.
And navigating your way through Playa is not that easy.
But, now I’ve got my, oh, here ’s a funeral.
Wow.
Looked out there.
Yeah, that’s what that is.
What was I going to say? Yeah.
But luckily, with my guidance system, Playa will be no problem at all.
Just breeze right through it.
Make a left, make a right, make a left, left, right, right.
Here’s the bridge.
Here we come up to the bridge.
And that would be the St. John ’s River, which is, I believe, the inter-coastal waterway.
Haha.
Or a branch of it.
Yep, the St. John’s River.
It’s not fresh water, I don’t think.
It’s fresh water.
It’s huge.
Look at it on the map.
Check it out.
Playa.
Now it’s starting to rain again .
Yep.
Okay.
Speed limit 40.
Everybody’s slowing down for some reason.
It must be because the speed limit is 40 miles per hour.
This is the same river that goes through Jacksonville.
I’m going to have to look at the map to see where this thing ends up.
But sure enough, we’re going to make a left in about 8/10 of a mile.
Now the navigation system is beginning to do a good job because this is the correct move.
It’s calling now for me to do the right thing.
This is now working.
We’re now in a functional relationship, everybody.
Okay, so this is 2nd Street.
In half of a mile, left turn.
Uh-uh.
Right.
Well, what it called the left was really going straight.
It does that sometimes.
That is so weird.
That’s the way it works.
Okay, we’re on 17 North and I’m 100 West.
We’re going to make a left as we’re on 9th Street.
No, we’re going to make a left onto 9th Street.
So we’re passing now.
I don’t know if you really care about any of this.
You probably don’t.
See, this is where they say podcasting is like really boring.
This is the part they’re talking about.
Well, but I have to do the drive.
You might as well drive with me .
This is what it would be like.
Left turn ahead.
Left turn ahead on 9th Street.
There’s a red light on 9th Street, but a green left turn.
Yeah, but this guy is going too slow.
I’m not going to make it.
I’m not going to make it.
Am I going to make it? Am I going to make it? Oh, I’m going to cut a little corner here.
Can I make it? Yeah.
Nope.
Nope.
The light just turned red.
Okay, we’ll just hang out here and enjoy the podcast scene.
Right.
Gainesville 44.
I can see this side.
We’re definitely going the right way.
9th Street is the right correct turn.
Isn’t that nice? Because they’ll tell you why.
Because if you look ahead, there’s a confusing sign that says 17 North, 100 West continues.
Okay, this is West 20.
Now I can turn left now.
Light just turned green.
This is West 20 and Gainesville is 44 miles away.
And I got an hour and a half to get there.
So I would say I’m going to be on time in all probability.
I would say yes sir.
I’m going to be on time.
Now this podcast will be over long before I get to Gaines ville.
Because I’m not going to talk for 44 minutes.
We know that, right? Because I don’t have anything to say.
It’s worth 44 minutes.
Uh-oh.
20 closed.
Uh-oh.
Oh geez.
Now what? Detour.
Oh my goodness.
This is the poor part of town folks.
This looks like a poorer part of any southern town road closed to traffic.
Okay.
Well, it’s going to be more than 44 miles.
Now let’s see how my voice navigation system deals with this little deal trick here.
Uh-oh.
What did he do? He wants to know.
Uh-oh.
What the hell did my friend do? It’s not complaining.
What did he do? Oh, damn.
See, it’s a good thing it doesn ’t have a personality.
Because right about now, it would be flipping out.
It should be flipping.
It should be yelling at me.
Make a legal U-turn.
Okay, here’s my stop sign.
It says detour.
Left.
Make a left.
And we’re now on 13th Street in Polacca.
Yep, Polacca.
Nice looking town.
I mean, you know, it’s poor, but it looks comfortable.
I’m sure you could afford to live here.
My detour right turn.
Yep.
Yeah.
Oh, this is cool.
I’m glad.
Uh-huh.
Well, I’m kind of glad we’re taking this detour.
Because now we get the tour.
That’s why they call them det ours.
Detour.
Oh, we’re back on the road.
We’re back on West 20.
Well, the detour is over.
We got detour.
See? Was it worth it? All that just to get that.
I could have put that on my blog, but I never would have thought of it.
And I certainly never would have remembered it.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Hurry, hurry.
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[radio chatter] Alright, alright, enough.
So they say we don’t like ads.
Well, I guess it all depends.
I mean, if it’s an Asuzu ad, sure.
Let’s do it.
Okay, I’m looking for a little doodad thing because I want to drink some Diet Coke and sort of space out a little bit.
So I think that my little deal here is going to be just fine.
It says next turn is in 46 miles.
Really? I don’t know if that means the next turn, but I think we’re on pretty good stead here.
So I’ll catch up with you in a little bit, okay?
[Music] Arguing with Led Zeppelin.
[Music] And me. And now they’re playing their sweet Daytona Beach, Florida.
Yeah, we’re at the junction of … We’re at Highway 207.
And I’m going to make a left turn.
Even though the navigation system wants me to go back to get on to Interstate 95.
[Music] See, yep, they want me to go the wrong way.
[Music] See, I’m trying to go to Gaines ville.
And the voice navigation system has this weird route planned and it hasn’t actually showed me what the route is.
And luckily this time I actually know where I’m going because the first time I let it take me somewhere was going to Orlando to get to the airport.
And when I did that… [Music] Well, God darn it.
It took me on the most back- root road way to get to the airport.
It got me there, but my nerves were so rattled.
And you got to know that there ’s like… Here, there’s a freeway.
Yeah, it’s going to complain now.
Okay, let’s hear.
Well, here we go.
Proceed about two miles.
Yeah, and at that point it wants me to make a right turn.
I don’t know where I’m supposed to go with that right turn, exactly.
Where that’s supposed to take me.
But yeah, so they took me back country route to the Orlando airport and it got me there.
And then coming back from the airport, I said, “Well, what I’m going to do is I’m just going to…” Because I’ve done that trip before, I’m going to basically just follow the signs to Daytona Beach.
And then just blow through all the instructions that the navigation system is giving me and then just see where that ends up taking me.
And, well, needless to say, I ended up not doing that.
And it was driving me instead of me driving it.
And it took me to a road that was closed.
And so I had no choice but to go in one direction.
When it wanted me to go straight, I couldn’t go straight.
I had to turn right and I couldn’t turn left.
So I turned right and got onto a big freeway.
And I was going west instead of east.
And it had me make a U-turn.
And then I went all the way around and then realized… In half of a mile for my turn.
That I was all the way back where I had begun.
I mean, I was back at one of the earliest turns after the airport.
So I went back and followed its instructions again.
And it took me right back to the place where there was no road.
And I did it again.
Except this time I made a left instead of a right and ended up going the… Ended up basically it got in sync and it said, “Wow, there’s a road I know. " And it… Yeah, I see, I’m not going to take this right.
Okay, I’m not going to.
Because I know that if I stay on 207… I’m coming up to Placka now.
No, Placka is 10 miles.
If I stay on 207, I’m going to get to Gainesville.
And I don’t care what they tell me, but this is the way you go to G ainesville.
Having done this about 80,000 times… Hitchhiked it a lot actually when I was a kid.
Next left and then one turn.
No, we’re not taking the next left, dear.
And then I had the thought when I got so frustrating that they could program this thing to get irritated with you .
I just said, “Look, I said to take a left, damn it.
Why didn’t you take that left?” But it never gets irritated.
She’s just the calmest person, but very, very, very stubborn about her way of doing things.
You either do it her way.
By the way, we’re passing the home of the Bulls Hit Ranch and Farm.
And we’re in the potato capital of Florida, in case you didn’t know that.
Proceed about three miles.
No, no, we’re not going that way.
Yes, I will proceed about three miles, but as we’re entering Putnam County, Florida… You know they grew potatoes in Florida? Yeah, well, they did.
They do.
And there’s palm trees, too.
Palm trees and potatoes, do they go together? Yeah, I guess they do here.
Anyway, this is quite a station we happen to do and do.
It’s hard rocked from the 1970s here.
Let’s turn it up a little bit.
It ain’t so hard to do if you know how.
Got to get a message, getting on through.
That’s the Doobie Brothers.
You got to listen to the music, yeah.
And one of their songs, Black Water, is one of my favorite songs.
I just cheer up whenever I hear it.
I’ve heard it about 80 billion times.
I just can never hear enough of that.
I just love that song.
It’s just great.
So here they do filtered and backhoe work and commercial m owing.
Yeah, you see we’re getting into the rural part here where they do that kind of stuff.
This isn’t like there’s no vacation rentals here.
They get tornadoes here, I think, too.
Kind of very, very flat.
And it’s very stormy today.
Very stormy because there’s a tropical storm.
Arlene is brewing over the Gulf of Mexico.
We get about 100 miles from here.
Maybe a little bit more, maybe 150 miles west of where I’m going west.
But right now, the road’s clear and it’s not raining.
And a beautiful four-lane highway with no traffic on it, almost no traffic.
It’s kind of an easy trip.
Of course, I do think I ought to pull over at some point and sort of reprogram this thing so that it stops being irritating.
I just thought it was so funny.
Here we go.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
No, we won’t.
No way.
I just thought it was really funny the way she was arguing while, you know, Led Zeppelin was playing some great classic rock song.
And, you know, it was like, who would have guessed it was what a… I guess that’s what they call a mashup, right? I mean, kind of a strange combination here.
Making legal U-turn.
No, no, no.
Okay, so let’s hear.
You’ll hear two beeps now.
Here.
That means that was where I was supposed to take the legal U- turn, but I didn’t.
Now let’s hear what she has to say now.
What do we want? Oh.
Proceed about three miles.
And then I’m going to make a left according to the computer readout.
This thing is practically worthless.
I paid thousands of dollars for this.
I mean, this was the same price as a laptop computer.
This doesn’t work worth a shit.
Weird.
I think maybe I have to learn how to use it though.
That’s the thing.
And that’s what I think I’m doing now.
It’s like, okay, I could have gotten onto the interstate there.
And where would that have taken me exactly? I would love to have seen the route that she had planned for me.
What if a Republican got hold of this? You know, based on your politics, you’re going to go this route.
And all of a sudden, oops, where did I end up? Uh-oh.
Sorry.
There’s many apologies to Republicans.
So where am I headed right now? I’m headed to Gainesville, where we’re going to have a Central Florida podcasters meet up.
And one of the guys, George Col ombo, is coming from Orlando.
And I think Kay Tramble is coming from Gainesville, which is weird, because I thought she was in Louisiana.
But I saw her posted somewhere that she was going to be there.
And that’s great.
I was glad to see her.
And honestly, I don’t know who else is going to be there.
I heard that somebody from some newspaper is coming to this thing.
So you never know, but I’m bringing my camera and I’m bringing my recorder.
I’m going to stay within the speed limit.
I was getting ready to pass some guy with a Kia Sportarage thing, or whatever it is.
I think we might be coming into Palakka about now.
Wow.
According to this thing, I’m going to be taking two hours and seven minutes to get to G ainesville.
But I’m not going the way they want me to go.
And half of a mile, lap turn.
That would be onto Cracker Sw amp Road, according to the read out here.
And Cracker Swamp Road sounds like a really great place for a Jewish guy to go.
How many guys like me come out of that place alive? That would be where I would think that the Republicans would want a guy like me to go.
Next lap.
Onto Cracker Swamp Drive.
How much you want to bet that goes to Cracker Swamp? Yeah.
Yeah.
Cracker Swamp.
There’s East Cracker Swamp Drive, and then there’s West.
And now, folks, we’re in East Palakka.
Proceed about one mile.
One mile, where they’re going to have me take a right turn.
Let me just get it, you know, luckily I printed out some directions from Google Maps.
I have those sitting out.
I’m going to put this down for a minute.
Maybe I’ll turn up the music a little bit here.
Let’s see what’s the deal here.
So, 207, continue on East Church Street, West Church Street.
Continue on 207, 207.
Okay, I’m going to go on 207 for another six miles, then turn right on State Route 100.
And before then, I’m going to stop and reprogram this thing.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
In half of a mile, right turn.
Yeah, in half of a mile, what I ’m going to do is I’m going to look for a place to stop.
Okay, folks, we’re going to put this thing to rest for a minute .
And you guys go to sleep for a bit.
You won’t remember anything when you wake up.
I’m going to pull into this gas station here.
And we buy houses.
Wow, that’s fun.
Cool.
And then here we are.
All right, very good.
Okay, you won’t remember a thing.
Okay, we’re back.
That pause could have been a lot shorter than it was.
I mean, I could have lifted on because it took me a lot less time.
I think that it was basically taking me to a place in a different city.
I think that’s what was going on.
And so I think that that’s why the instructions made no sense.
I think that I don’t know where I thought I had chosen the destination by the name of the restaurant.
And I was pretty sure that I had entered Gainesville.
But now instead of like a huge long distance, so what do they want me to do now? Oh boy.
Junction 17, 50 miles, one hour and 28 minutes.
In two tenths of a mile, right turn.
Okay.
Next right.
That’s what we’re going to do, folks.
We’re going to make us a right turn going north.
Well, this is quite a stretch, but we’re going to do it anyway .
Okay, we’re going to go right.
I’m following your instructions , honey.
Okay, black to two miles.
Yeah, this is familiar.
I’ve been here before.
This is one of the like, when you’re hitchhiking from New Orleans.
Approach speed about three miles.
When you’re hitchhiking from New Orleans, that was one of the places where you had to get out.
Because almost nobody was going to the beach from there.
So I’d usually stop at one of those places and get me a big tall cold can of bush beer and drink it right there.
Or out there, y’all.
I love the can of bush beer.
I used to drink beer then, not a lot, but I used to drink it somewhat.
And that’s where I would do it, because I was almost home, basically, at that point.
Almost there.
Almost, almost, almost almost there.
So now, if I’m not mistaken, we ’re going to cross the St. John ’s River, which is a huge, huge bridge.
Huge river, actually.
And Playa is a poor place.
It’s not rich.
And navigating your way through Playa is not that easy.
But, now I’ve got my, oh, here ’s a funeral.
Wow.
Looked out there.
Yeah, that’s what that is.
What was I going to say? Yeah.
But luckily, with my guidance system, Playa will be no problem at all.
Just breeze right through it.
Make a left, make a right, make a left, left, right, right.
Here’s the bridge.
Here we come up to the bridge.
And that would be the St. John ’s River, which is, I believe, the inter-coastal waterway.
Haha.
Or a branch of it.
Yep, the St. John’s River.
It’s not fresh water, I don’t think.
It’s fresh water.
It’s huge.
Look at it on the map.
Check it out.
Playa.
Now it’s starting to rain again .
Yep.
Okay.
Speed limit 40.
Everybody’s slowing down for some reason.
It must be because the speed limit is 40 miles per hour.
This is the same river that goes through Jacksonville.
I’m going to have to look at the map to see where this thing ends up.
But sure enough, we’re going to make a left in about 8/10 of a mile.
Now the navigation system is beginning to do a good job because this is the correct move.
It’s calling now for me to do the right thing.
This is now working.
We’re now in a functional relationship, everybody.
Okay, so this is 2nd Street.
In half of a mile, left turn.
Uh-uh.
Right.
Well, what it called the left was really going straight.
It does that sometimes.
That is so weird.
That’s the way it works.
Okay, we’re on 17 North and I’m 100 West.
We’re going to make a left as we’re on 9th Street.
No, we’re going to make a left onto 9th Street.
So we’re passing now.
I don’t know if you really care about any of this.
You probably don’t.
See, this is where they say podcasting is like really boring.
This is the part they’re talking about.
Well, but I have to do the drive.
You might as well drive with me .
This is what it would be like.
Left turn ahead.
Left turn ahead on 9th Street.
There’s a red light on 9th Street, but a green left turn.
Yeah, but this guy is going too slow.
I’m not going to make it.
I’m not going to make it.
Am I going to make it? Am I going to make it? Oh, I’m going to cut a little corner here.
Can I make it? Yeah.
Nope.
Nope.
The light just turned red.
Okay, we’ll just hang out here and enjoy the podcast scene.
Right.
Gainesville 44.
I can see this side.
We’re definitely going the right way.
9th Street is the right correct turn.
Isn’t that nice? Because they’ll tell you why.
Because if you look ahead, there’s a confusing sign that says 17 North, 100 West continues.
Okay, this is West 20.
Now I can turn left now.
Light just turned green.
This is West 20 and Gainesville is 44 miles away.
And I got an hour and a half to get there.
So I would say I’m going to be on time in all probability.
I would say yes sir.
I’m going to be on time.
Now this podcast will be over long before I get to Gaines ville.
Because I’m not going to talk for 44 minutes.
We know that, right? Because I don’t have anything to say.
It’s worth 44 minutes.
Uh-oh.
20 closed.
Uh-oh.
Oh geez.
Now what? Detour.
Oh my goodness.
This is the poor part of town folks.
This looks like a poorer part of any southern town road closed to traffic.
Okay.
Well, it’s going to be more than 44 miles.
Now let’s see how my voice navigation system deals with this little deal trick here.
Uh-oh.
What did he do? He wants to know.
Uh-oh.
What the hell did my friend do? It’s not complaining.
What did he do? Oh, damn.
See, it’s a good thing it doesn ’t have a personality.
Because right about now, it would be flipping out.
It should be flipping.
It should be yelling at me.
Make a legal U-turn.
Okay, here’s my stop sign.
It says detour.
Left.
Make a left.
And we’re now on 13th Street in Polacca.
Yep, Polacca.
Nice looking town.
I mean, you know, it’s poor, but it looks comfortable.
I’m sure you could afford to live here.
My detour right turn.
Yep.
Yeah.
Oh, this is cool.
I’m glad.
Uh-huh.
Well, I’m kind of glad we’re taking this detour.
Because now we get the tour.
That’s why they call them det ours.
Detour.
Oh, we’re back on the road.
We’re back on West 20.
Well, the detour is over.
We got detour.
See? Was it worth it? All that just to get that.
I could have put that on my blog, but I never would have thought of it.
And I certainly never would have remembered it.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Hurry, hurry.
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[radio chatter] Alright, alright, enough.
So they say we don’t like ads.
Well, I guess it all depends.
I mean, if it’s an Asuzu ad, sure.
Let’s do it.
Okay, I’m looking for a little doodad thing because I want to drink some Diet Coke and sort of space out a little bit.
So I think that my little deal here is going to be just fine.
It says next turn is in 46 miles.
Really? I don’t know if that means the next turn, but I think we’re on pretty good stead here.
So I’ll catch up with you in a little bit, okay?