A musical podcast
“Lots of singing, one idea, not much more. A Windows reboot. A bunch of philosophy. Thirty minutes. Amazing.”
Dave tries to play some music on his computer.
Listen
Transcript
This transcript was automatically generated.
[singing]
[singing]
Hello everybody! This is
Morning Coffee Notes for May 10
th, 2005.
This is Dave Winer putting on my most deep and impressive radio voice for you all.
Good morning everybody! [ singing] [singing] Well, what should we talk about today everybody? I don’t know, I just was like making a bunch of Skype calls, Skype out! Skype out, Skype out is really cool. It’s very good stuff. I like using it very much myself and I thought I would find it interesting and I truly did actually find it interesting to see what the quality of a Skype call might be like just by calling myself.
So that’s exactly what I did. I dialed my phone number and I heard my voice and sounded pretty good.
Yep, there was a delay. There was a delay of about maybe a 50 th of a second.
Enough to be perceived. Enough that you could actually tell that there was a delay.
But not enough so that you could tell what the quality of the sound was.
In other words, if you wanted to do that there would have to be enough of a delay so you could say something quickly and then quickly get over here and listen to what you had said . However, there isn’t enough of a delay to do that.
So you couldn’t do it, so I couldn’t tell. But it seemed like it was pretty good quality to me.
And living out in the sticks like I do, my cell phone works pretty poorly so I thought, well let’s try, well we’ll try doing it this way for a while.
Anywho, not a lot going on here today. Well, actually not entirely true.
I was thinking about different ways we might improve the quality of information that we get about the most popular podcasts.
And then I thought that, well, we had a technique that kind of worked but didn’t work called the Share Your OPML site which was feeds. scripting. com.
And I had to turn it off because it was just doing too much work.
But then I thought maybe I should just turn it on again and I think that’s what I will do.
And once it’s turned on, because I have another server that I can put it on, a server that isn’t like too heavily loaded and then let it sort of run and do its thing.
And then we can try using it for the podcasting community and then that will give us a pretty good measure of the feeds that people are using and the programs, the podcasts that people are listening to.
In other words, give us a top ten list that’s based on what people are subscribed to, not based on how many times people hit the refresh button on a voting page.
Which is kind of interesting but doesn’t represent a whole lot of actual data.
So there you have it. That’s the idea for today.
We may have some other ideas coming in soon, but I just wanted to get this one out there and then I wanted to do a little singing into the microphone, obviously.
It’s been that kind of day.
Anyway, hope you’re all doing really well and you know what, let me see if I can find, hold on, you know what, I’m going to go do a little search here because there’s another song, as long as I’m in the singing mood.
This is, let’s see if I can find a MIDI of this song here.
And you know, if I do find it, I’m going to be singing it.
Oh, I’ll give you a hint. It’s Dixie.
Way down south, Land Cotton.
That ought to be enough.
Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Oh, I wish I was in Dixie.
Oh, I wish I was in the Land of Cotton old times star.
I’m not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away , Dixie Land in Dixie where I was born in early on one frosty morning.
Look away, look away, look away , Dixie Land.
Now I want the MIDI though.
That’s not good enough.
I want the MIDI so that I could see lyrics and music.
Maybe that’s it.
Oh, I think this is it.
Oh yeah, I think we got it here folks.
You ready? I hope you’re ready for this.
Let’s see.
Why am I not hearing anything? Why am I not hearing anything? Oh, I wish I was in the Land of Cotton old times there.
I’m not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away , Dixie Land in Dixie Land.
This is definitely it.
I think I need another computer here because I think what’s happening is that I can’t hear it because I’m actually recording.
So what am I going to do? I am going to have to pause this as much as I hate to do this.
If you want to hear the music, you’re going to have to look only six minutes into it.
You know what I’m going to do? I’m just going to get the other computer and I’m not going to pause it because I really don’t like doing that.
Okay, so don’t go away.
I’ll be right back.
Okay, don’t go away.
I’m going right back.
Okay, I’m over here.
This is the other room now.
Yeah, I’m going back now.
I just want to go get the other laptop.
I don’t know if you can hear me there, but I just want to go get the other laptop and the other laptop.
Let’s hope it has a good charge on it then.
This is my IBM ThinkPad and let ’s see.
I just hope the battery is well charged.
Then what am I going to do? Wait, let me just knock the microphone over Dave.
Yeah, good move.
Right on.
Okay.
Yeah, this is definitely a musical podcast.
Type in the password.
How’s the battery doing? We’ve got a really good Wi-Fi shed.
It’s pretty, pretty darn cool.
All right.
Let’s see what the battery situation is here.
Open the power meter.
We’ve got 91% remaining.
2. 2.
Two hours, two, and two hours and 28 minutes.
Why it’s not 100% that? I couldn’t tell you, but let’s see.
So we’re going to go to, here’s the URL.
I’m going to read it aloud.
It’s www. nihehs. nih. gov/kids, haha, like me.
Slash lyrics/dixie. htm.
And does the page load? Yep, the page loads.
I got the URL right.
So that’s www. nihehs. nih. gov/ kids/ lyrics/dixie. htm.
Now we’re not hearing anything here either.
Maybe the speaker’s off.
Did that be volume control? No, the speaker’s on.
All right.
I’m going to try putting the headphones in here and see what happens.
I know you find this extremely interesting.
But believe me, it’s worth tuning into because, hold on.
It’s worth it because at the end of all this, if I can actually make this thing work, you’re going to hear me sing a song.
Kind of like some of the songs I’ve sang in the past.
And I know how popular those are because everybody likes music, right? And everybody likes a guy who makes a fool of himself.
Okay, so now I’m putting the headphones on.
Stick them in, plug them in.
Headphones on, plugged in.
Now let’s see.
Nope, I don’t hear anything.
I just don’t hear it.
Let’s try plugging in the stereo.
I’m doing something wrong.
But the question is, what could it be? Do you hear anything coming out of my stereo? Did you know that even though, although best known, as the song adopted by the Confederacy Dixie, was also Abraham Lincoln’s favorite song, and it was played at his inaug uration.
Even though Abe Lincoln loved and supported the song, Dan Emmett was ostracized in the north for writing a song associated with the South.
How do you like that? Hey Southerners, guess who wrote your theme song? I love that shit.
Well, I don’t know.
Maybe I’ll do another one, but honestly I don’t know why I ’m not getting the music here.
It’s quite frustrating.
Let’s try playing something else.
Let’s go to the desktop.
I guess people who like boring podcasts, you should be very happy with this one.
Let me find any MP3’s on this computer.
Blondie, here we go, Blondie.
It’s not like the music doesn’t work, it does.
There’s clearly nothing wrong with the computer.
It’s not exactly Dixie.
Actually, it’s kind of better.
It’s not about the sound.
It’s not about the sound.
I don’t want to be having too much fun.
Uncle R-I-A-A, I can’t listen to music.
I kind of caught you getting in the groove there, didn’t I? Wow, I can’t be doing that.
So what the heck is going on here? Why is this music not playing? I don’t know.
Let’s try the other song that I did.
Happy Trails to You, right? I’m going to go to Google.
This computer got its brain transplanted at www. google. com.
And then the song goes, Happy Trails to You, lyrics, MIDI.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Possible for others to see it.
Very good, thank you very much.
Okay, here we go.
We think Chuck is great.
Chuck Duckless, remember that, baby? So he’s got a little MIDI thing here.
Come on, Chuck.
Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, can we hear it? Chuck, Chuck, Chuck.
Earth to Chuck, Chuck, Duckless , Duckless, Duckless.
That’s like Douglas.
Let’s try it.
Mini, mini, mini.
Here we go.
Got it.
National Educational Health Service or something like that.
Young and Young at Heart, right ? Well, Young at Heart, that would be me.
They’ve got all these great songs, right? So if you go to that same URL, www. nihs. nih. gov/kids/music child. htm.
You’ve got all these great songs, and let’s see if you’re happy and you know it.
Oh, there’s a whole year of morning coffee notes here, folks.
If we can only get some of these things to play.
Yeah, they’re not.
It’s not going to play.
I don’t know what.
Music’s not playing.
We have a question up here.
The music’s not playing.
We’ve been tested with both N etscape and Explorer browsers in proper working order.
Appropriate plug-ins.
We use standard MIDI for background music.
It’s possible some of the software program may have inadvertently been added.
It’s just a quick time plug-in.
Well, let’s try that.
Let’s try installing a free, quick time plug-in.
Maybe that’s what happened.
Yeah, what’s my free, quick time? I don’t want iTunes.
No, no, no.
No, I have iTunes.
Believe me, it’s hard to get rid of.
Okay, a free, quick time plug- in.
Free download.
Oh, they want my email address.
Okay, go ahead, send me spam.
Full installer run.
Okay, good.
Oh, wow, is this fast? 463 bytes per second.
K bytes per second.
It’s already done three meg abytes while we’ve just been talking.
Okay, it settles down around 300 K per second.
Oh, it’s now 299, 296.
It’s still pretty fast.
It’s still pretty fast.
And we’re still, like, way, way under budget here.
We’ve only got 17 minutes.
I mean, could easily go for another 23 minutes or so.
No problem.
Because we all know, like, the ideal length.
Somebody asked me this.
It’s like, how is it determined that the ideal length for a podcast is 40 minutes? And to which I said, it was a joke.
Pulling your leg.
I don’t know that it’s the ideal length.
Yes, I would like auto-complete on.
Thank you.
Okay, I’m now installing.
Congratulations.
You can now enjoy what millions of Mac and Windows users did you notice the infobar blocks the pop-up window that might be safe? Might not be safe.
This site requires what is it ? Install the accurate control.
Sure.
Sure, why not? Congratulations.
You can now enjoy what millions of Mac and Windows users love about QuickTime, the digital media standard.
Okay, so what can I do? I can watch movie trailers.
I can see the QuickTime guide.
I can upgrade to QuickTime Pro.
But what I really want to do is I want to listen to Dixie.
And it’s still not playing.
Okay, maybe a restart.
Maybe I should just restart my dang computer.
Let’s try that.
It’s always a good idea, right? When in doubt, restart.
I mean, we’ve only used 19 minutes and 16 seconds, which means we’ve got, like, almost 20 minutes left in a perfectly timed, allotted podcast, right? You can listen to me blow snot for 20 minutes.
You know those assholes, the d itto head juggernaut what’s his name? Limbaugh likes.
The Limbaugh likes in Nashville , Tennessee, and Atlanta, Georgia, and all the rest of the places.
They would just love to listen to an hour of me just sniffling .
And, oh, they’d like to hear me crying, too.
I thought they would like to make me cry, wouldn’t they? Oh, fuck you.
You know what I said? You know when I pissed them off the other days when I said, “Hey, I’m a gun-toed liberal.
“You don’t mess with me.
“You’ll probably just gun out of my hands “when these fingers are cold and clammy and “God, I don’t know. " I’m stupid, remember? That’s right.
You’re like Rich Limbaugh.
You’re much smarter.
You’re my intellectual superior in every regard.
Excuse me while I worship you.
I am not worthy.
You are much smarter than I am.
I am not worthy.
Right.
We’re sitting here doing the thing that we Windows users, we love to do this, you know? You know, there’s the other things.
Like, Mac users are always telling us about how much better their systems are.
Well, we know that.
That’s like telling a Mets user that the Yankees are better than the Mets.
Okay.
We knew that.
But I still don’t want to go to Yankees games.
Kind of would be the last thing on Earth I would like to do.
They wonder why.
Why don’t you want to see a winner? Why don’t you want faster rebo ots? Why would you rather not have to reboot your system at all? Well, if we did, we would use Mac.
But we are Windows users and we love we think rebooting should be part of the user interface of a computer.
Yeah.
That’s right.
Well, what have we got to do with our what better do we have to do with our time? God, we don’t even know how to speak English.
Just sitting here waiting for my computer to reboot.
Oh, yeah. It’s pretty common.
So we’re now 21 minutes and 55 seconds into what should have been a six-minute podcast.
All got sidetracked because I wanted to sing a song to Stan, whatever the fuck his name is, the turd from wherever he’s from, the ditto head.
I just wanted to tell him how how God, I wish I had been an economics major.
I really missed the boat. God, what was I thinking? And I became a math major. I mean, I could have been so much smarter.
I would have been so much smarter if I I would have made so much more money than if I had, like, just listened to Stan.
Stan, obviously, is much smarter than I am.
If only I were as smart as he is. I would I would be, like, so smart.
People would just stop me in the street and say, “God, you ’re really smart. I wish I were I wish I were as smart as you are. " That’s what people would say to me. Not that anybody ever says anything like that to me. Yeah.
No.
I only had a brain.
Anyway, I’m still sitting here waiting for my machine to reboot, so I can sing the O to the South, also known as Dixie, which one popular theory of the name Dixie is that the old $10 Louisiana notes were known by mispronouncing the French names that were printed on them as D ixies.
And the Louisiana region became known in slang as Dixieland.
This term was later explained to include the rest of the South.
Oh, excuse me. Expanded. Expand ed to include the rest of the South.
The other competing theory Excuse me. Excuse me. Well, my machine reboots.
The other competing theory is that Dixie comes from the Mason -Dixon line.
There is a third theory that the title honors a kind of farmer in Manhattan Island.
Manhattan Island, huh? Known by the name of Dixie, it was rumored to be connected with the Underground Railroad.
Dixieland became known as a safe haven. However, it is unlikely that this could actually be the origin of the song since Manhattan Island has never been the land of cotton.
That’s correct. In addition, Manhattan is clearly not all the way down South.
These people are very good.
They must not be Windows users.
They’re very smart. Maybe they know Stan. Maybe they know Stan .
Stan. What’s Stan’s last name? If I were smart, I would remember. But I’m not, so I don ’t.
Oh. Oh, it says your computer was recently updated. Windows recently downloaded and installed an important security update to help protect your computer.
This update required an automatic restart of your computer. Interesting.
I could have sworn that I inst igated the restart, but, well, what do I know? Windows. Windows, we love you.
We love you so much.
Okay, so we’re 25 minutes and 22, 25 seconds into the podcast , which means we’re getting close to, like, 15 minutes.
Oh, actually, we’re over 15 minutes. We’re closer. I’m going to get the idea.
Better get to the singing of the song pretty darn soon, folks.
[Singing] [Singing] I’d be very upset if I had to go without my song to sing to you today.
I’d be very unhappy if I had to do that. Yes, I would. Oh, yes, I would. That’s right.
[Singing] [Singing] Oh, well, let me just try singing the song without the background music, and maybe we ’ll be able to get it later, okay? So I wish I was in the land of cotton. The old times there are not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away , Dixieland.
In Dixieland, where I was born in early one, frosty morning.
Look away, look away, look, look, look away, Dixieland.
Oh, I wish I was in Dixieland.
Hooray, hooray.
In Dixieland, I’ll take my stand to live and die in Dixie.
Away, away, away, down south in Dixie.
Away, away, away, down south in Dixie.
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
[Gunshot] Well, that’ll just have to do.
Ah, anyway. Oh, here’s some more. His face was sharp as a butcher’s cleaver that did not seem to grieve her.
Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
Old Mrs. Act like a foolish part and died for a man that broke her heart.
Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
Now, here’s two health, two old Mrs. and all the gals that want to kiss us. Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
But if you want to drive away sorrow, come hear this song tomorrow.
Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
[Groans] Okay, one more time.
Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton. Old times there are not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
[Groans] Okay, everybody. That was the morning coffee notes podcast.
All 29 minutes.
We’re going to stop right at 30 . Okay, 30 minutes.
And that’s it for May 10th, 2005.
Don’t forget to look for feeds.
scripting. com, rejuvenated, rep ositioned, and all the rest of that cool stuff.
See you all later, everybody.
This is Dave Winer putting on my most deep and impressive radio voice for you all.
Good morning everybody! [ singing] [singing] Well, what should we talk about today everybody? I don’t know, I just was like making a bunch of Skype calls, Skype out! Skype out, Skype out is really cool. It’s very good stuff. I like using it very much myself and I thought I would find it interesting and I truly did actually find it interesting to see what the quality of a Skype call might be like just by calling myself.
So that’s exactly what I did. I dialed my phone number and I heard my voice and sounded pretty good.
Yep, there was a delay. There was a delay of about maybe a 50 th of a second.
Enough to be perceived. Enough that you could actually tell that there was a delay.
But not enough so that you could tell what the quality of the sound was.
In other words, if you wanted to do that there would have to be enough of a delay so you could say something quickly and then quickly get over here and listen to what you had said . However, there isn’t enough of a delay to do that.
So you couldn’t do it, so I couldn’t tell. But it seemed like it was pretty good quality to me.
And living out in the sticks like I do, my cell phone works pretty poorly so I thought, well let’s try, well we’ll try doing it this way for a while.
Anywho, not a lot going on here today. Well, actually not entirely true.
I was thinking about different ways we might improve the quality of information that we get about the most popular podcasts.
And then I thought that, well, we had a technique that kind of worked but didn’t work called the Share Your OPML site which was feeds. scripting. com.
And I had to turn it off because it was just doing too much work.
But then I thought maybe I should just turn it on again and I think that’s what I will do.
And once it’s turned on, because I have another server that I can put it on, a server that isn’t like too heavily loaded and then let it sort of run and do its thing.
And then we can try using it for the podcasting community and then that will give us a pretty good measure of the feeds that people are using and the programs, the podcasts that people are listening to.
In other words, give us a top ten list that’s based on what people are subscribed to, not based on how many times people hit the refresh button on a voting page.
Which is kind of interesting but doesn’t represent a whole lot of actual data.
So there you have it. That’s the idea for today.
We may have some other ideas coming in soon, but I just wanted to get this one out there and then I wanted to do a little singing into the microphone, obviously.
It’s been that kind of day.
Anyway, hope you’re all doing really well and you know what, let me see if I can find, hold on, you know what, I’m going to go do a little search here because there’s another song, as long as I’m in the singing mood.
This is, let’s see if I can find a MIDI of this song here.
And you know, if I do find it, I’m going to be singing it.
Oh, I’ll give you a hint. It’s Dixie.
Way down south, Land Cotton.
That ought to be enough.
Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Oh, I wish I was in Dixie.
Oh, I wish I was in the Land of Cotton old times star.
I’m not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away , Dixie Land in Dixie where I was born in early on one frosty morning.
Look away, look away, look away , Dixie Land.
Now I want the MIDI though.
That’s not good enough.
I want the MIDI so that I could see lyrics and music.
Maybe that’s it.
Oh, I think this is it.
Oh yeah, I think we got it here folks.
You ready? I hope you’re ready for this.
Let’s see.
Why am I not hearing anything? Why am I not hearing anything? Oh, I wish I was in the Land of Cotton old times there.
I’m not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away , Dixie Land in Dixie Land.
This is definitely it.
I think I need another computer here because I think what’s happening is that I can’t hear it because I’m actually recording.
So what am I going to do? I am going to have to pause this as much as I hate to do this.
If you want to hear the music, you’re going to have to look only six minutes into it.
You know what I’m going to do? I’m just going to get the other computer and I’m not going to pause it because I really don’t like doing that.
Okay, so don’t go away.
I’ll be right back.
Okay, don’t go away.
I’m going right back.
Okay, I’m over here.
This is the other room now.
Yeah, I’m going back now.
I just want to go get the other laptop.
I don’t know if you can hear me there, but I just want to go get the other laptop and the other laptop.
Let’s hope it has a good charge on it then.
This is my IBM ThinkPad and let ’s see.
I just hope the battery is well charged.
Then what am I going to do? Wait, let me just knock the microphone over Dave.
Yeah, good move.
Right on.
Okay.
Yeah, this is definitely a musical podcast.
Type in the password.
How’s the battery doing? We’ve got a really good Wi-Fi shed.
It’s pretty, pretty darn cool.
All right.
Let’s see what the battery situation is here.
Open the power meter.
We’ve got 91% remaining.
2. 2.
Two hours, two, and two hours and 28 minutes.
Why it’s not 100% that? I couldn’t tell you, but let’s see.
So we’re going to go to, here’s the URL.
I’m going to read it aloud.
It’s www. nihehs. nih. gov/kids, haha, like me.
Slash lyrics/dixie. htm.
And does the page load? Yep, the page loads.
I got the URL right.
So that’s www. nihehs. nih. gov/ kids/ lyrics/dixie. htm.
Now we’re not hearing anything here either.
Maybe the speaker’s off.
Did that be volume control? No, the speaker’s on.
All right.
I’m going to try putting the headphones in here and see what happens.
I know you find this extremely interesting.
But believe me, it’s worth tuning into because, hold on.
It’s worth it because at the end of all this, if I can actually make this thing work, you’re going to hear me sing a song.
Kind of like some of the songs I’ve sang in the past.
And I know how popular those are because everybody likes music, right? And everybody likes a guy who makes a fool of himself.
Okay, so now I’m putting the headphones on.
Stick them in, plug them in.
Headphones on, plugged in.
Now let’s see.
Nope, I don’t hear anything.
I just don’t hear it.
Let’s try plugging in the stereo.
I’m doing something wrong.
But the question is, what could it be? Do you hear anything coming out of my stereo? Did you know that even though, although best known, as the song adopted by the Confederacy Dixie, was also Abraham Lincoln’s favorite song, and it was played at his inaug uration.
Even though Abe Lincoln loved and supported the song, Dan Emmett was ostracized in the north for writing a song associated with the South.
How do you like that? Hey Southerners, guess who wrote your theme song? I love that shit.
Well, I don’t know.
Maybe I’ll do another one, but honestly I don’t know why I ’m not getting the music here.
It’s quite frustrating.
Let’s try playing something else.
Let’s go to the desktop.
I guess people who like boring podcasts, you should be very happy with this one.
Let me find any MP3’s on this computer.
Blondie, here we go, Blondie.
It’s not like the music doesn’t work, it does.
There’s clearly nothing wrong with the computer.
It’s not exactly Dixie.
Actually, it’s kind of better.
It’s not about the sound.
It’s not about the sound.
I don’t want to be having too much fun.
Uncle R-I-A-A, I can’t listen to music.
I kind of caught you getting in the groove there, didn’t I? Wow, I can’t be doing that.
So what the heck is going on here? Why is this music not playing? I don’t know.
Let’s try the other song that I did.
Happy Trails to You, right? I’m going to go to Google.
This computer got its brain transplanted at www. google. com.
And then the song goes, Happy Trails to You, lyrics, MIDI.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Possible for others to see it.
Very good, thank you very much.
Okay, here we go.
We think Chuck is great.
Chuck Duckless, remember that, baby? So he’s got a little MIDI thing here.
Come on, Chuck.
Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, can we hear it? Chuck, Chuck, Chuck.
Earth to Chuck, Chuck, Duckless , Duckless, Duckless.
That’s like Douglas.
Let’s try it.
Mini, mini, mini.
Here we go.
Got it.
National Educational Health Service or something like that.
Young and Young at Heart, right ? Well, Young at Heart, that would be me.
They’ve got all these great songs, right? So if you go to that same URL, www. nihs. nih. gov/kids/music child. htm.
You’ve got all these great songs, and let’s see if you’re happy and you know it.
Oh, there’s a whole year of morning coffee notes here, folks.
If we can only get some of these things to play.
Yeah, they’re not.
It’s not going to play.
I don’t know what.
Music’s not playing.
We have a question up here.
The music’s not playing.
We’ve been tested with both N etscape and Explorer browsers in proper working order.
Appropriate plug-ins.
We use standard MIDI for background music.
It’s possible some of the software program may have inadvertently been added.
It’s just a quick time plug-in.
Well, let’s try that.
Let’s try installing a free, quick time plug-in.
Maybe that’s what happened.
Yeah, what’s my free, quick time? I don’t want iTunes.
No, no, no.
No, I have iTunes.
Believe me, it’s hard to get rid of.
Okay, a free, quick time plug- in.
Free download.
Oh, they want my email address.
Okay, go ahead, send me spam.
Full installer run.
Okay, good.
Oh, wow, is this fast? 463 bytes per second.
K bytes per second.
It’s already done three meg abytes while we’ve just been talking.
Okay, it settles down around 300 K per second.
Oh, it’s now 299, 296.
It’s still pretty fast.
It’s still pretty fast.
And we’re still, like, way, way under budget here.
We’ve only got 17 minutes.
I mean, could easily go for another 23 minutes or so.
No problem.
Because we all know, like, the ideal length.
Somebody asked me this.
It’s like, how is it determined that the ideal length for a podcast is 40 minutes? And to which I said, it was a joke.
Pulling your leg.
I don’t know that it’s the ideal length.
Yes, I would like auto-complete on.
Thank you.
Okay, I’m now installing.
Congratulations.
You can now enjoy what millions of Mac and Windows users did you notice the infobar blocks the pop-up window that might be safe? Might not be safe.
This site requires what is it ? Install the accurate control.
Sure.
Sure, why not? Congratulations.
You can now enjoy what millions of Mac and Windows users love about QuickTime, the digital media standard.
Okay, so what can I do? I can watch movie trailers.
I can see the QuickTime guide.
I can upgrade to QuickTime Pro.
But what I really want to do is I want to listen to Dixie.
And it’s still not playing.
Okay, maybe a restart.
Maybe I should just restart my dang computer.
Let’s try that.
It’s always a good idea, right? When in doubt, restart.
I mean, we’ve only used 19 minutes and 16 seconds, which means we’ve got, like, almost 20 minutes left in a perfectly timed, allotted podcast, right? You can listen to me blow snot for 20 minutes.
You know those assholes, the d itto head juggernaut what’s his name? Limbaugh likes.
The Limbaugh likes in Nashville , Tennessee, and Atlanta, Georgia, and all the rest of the places.
They would just love to listen to an hour of me just sniffling .
And, oh, they’d like to hear me crying, too.
I thought they would like to make me cry, wouldn’t they? Oh, fuck you.
You know what I said? You know when I pissed them off the other days when I said, “Hey, I’m a gun-toed liberal.
“You don’t mess with me.
“You’ll probably just gun out of my hands “when these fingers are cold and clammy and “God, I don’t know. " I’m stupid, remember? That’s right.
You’re like Rich Limbaugh.
You’re much smarter.
You’re my intellectual superior in every regard.
Excuse me while I worship you.
I am not worthy.
You are much smarter than I am.
I am not worthy.
Right.
We’re sitting here doing the thing that we Windows users, we love to do this, you know? You know, there’s the other things.
Like, Mac users are always telling us about how much better their systems are.
Well, we know that.
That’s like telling a Mets user that the Yankees are better than the Mets.
Okay.
We knew that.
But I still don’t want to go to Yankees games.
Kind of would be the last thing on Earth I would like to do.
They wonder why.
Why don’t you want to see a winner? Why don’t you want faster rebo ots? Why would you rather not have to reboot your system at all? Well, if we did, we would use Mac.
But we are Windows users and we love we think rebooting should be part of the user interface of a computer.
Yeah.
That’s right.
Well, what have we got to do with our what better do we have to do with our time? God, we don’t even know how to speak English.
Just sitting here waiting for my computer to reboot.
Oh, yeah. It’s pretty common.
So we’re now 21 minutes and 55 seconds into what should have been a six-minute podcast.
All got sidetracked because I wanted to sing a song to Stan, whatever the fuck his name is, the turd from wherever he’s from, the ditto head.
I just wanted to tell him how how God, I wish I had been an economics major.
I really missed the boat. God, what was I thinking? And I became a math major. I mean, I could have been so much smarter.
I would have been so much smarter if I I would have made so much more money than if I had, like, just listened to Stan.
Stan, obviously, is much smarter than I am.
If only I were as smart as he is. I would I would be, like, so smart.
People would just stop me in the street and say, “God, you ’re really smart. I wish I were I wish I were as smart as you are. " That’s what people would say to me. Not that anybody ever says anything like that to me. Yeah.
No.
I only had a brain.
Anyway, I’m still sitting here waiting for my machine to reboot, so I can sing the O to the South, also known as Dixie, which one popular theory of the name Dixie is that the old $10 Louisiana notes were known by mispronouncing the French names that were printed on them as D ixies.
And the Louisiana region became known in slang as Dixieland.
This term was later explained to include the rest of the South.
Oh, excuse me. Expanded. Expand ed to include the rest of the South.
The other competing theory Excuse me. Excuse me. Well, my machine reboots.
The other competing theory is that Dixie comes from the Mason -Dixon line.
There is a third theory that the title honors a kind of farmer in Manhattan Island.
Manhattan Island, huh? Known by the name of Dixie, it was rumored to be connected with the Underground Railroad.
Dixieland became known as a safe haven. However, it is unlikely that this could actually be the origin of the song since Manhattan Island has never been the land of cotton.
That’s correct. In addition, Manhattan is clearly not all the way down South.
These people are very good.
They must not be Windows users.
They’re very smart. Maybe they know Stan. Maybe they know Stan .
Stan. What’s Stan’s last name? If I were smart, I would remember. But I’m not, so I don ’t.
Oh. Oh, it says your computer was recently updated. Windows recently downloaded and installed an important security update to help protect your computer.
This update required an automatic restart of your computer. Interesting.
I could have sworn that I inst igated the restart, but, well, what do I know? Windows. Windows, we love you.
We love you so much.
Okay, so we’re 25 minutes and 22, 25 seconds into the podcast , which means we’re getting close to, like, 15 minutes.
Oh, actually, we’re over 15 minutes. We’re closer. I’m going to get the idea.
Better get to the singing of the song pretty darn soon, folks.
[Singing] [Singing] I’d be very upset if I had to go without my song to sing to you today.
I’d be very unhappy if I had to do that. Yes, I would. Oh, yes, I would. That’s right.
[Singing] [Singing] Oh, well, let me just try singing the song without the background music, and maybe we ’ll be able to get it later, okay? So I wish I was in the land of cotton. The old times there are not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away , Dixieland.
In Dixieland, where I was born in early one, frosty morning.
Look away, look away, look, look, look away, Dixieland.
Oh, I wish I was in Dixieland.
Hooray, hooray.
In Dixieland, I’ll take my stand to live and die in Dixie.
Away, away, away, down south in Dixie.
Away, away, away, down south in Dixie.
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo -doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
[Gunshot] Well, that’ll just have to do.
Ah, anyway. Oh, here’s some more. His face was sharp as a butcher’s cleaver that did not seem to grieve her.
Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
Old Mrs. Act like a foolish part and died for a man that broke her heart.
Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
Now, here’s two health, two old Mrs. and all the gals that want to kiss us. Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
But if you want to drive away sorrow, come hear this song tomorrow.
Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
[Groans] Okay, one more time.
Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton. Old times there are not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away at Dixieland.
[Groans] Okay, everybody. That was the morning coffee notes podcast.
All 29 minutes.
We’re going to stop right at 30 . Okay, 30 minutes.
And that’s it for May 10th, 2005.
Don’t forget to look for feeds.
scripting. com, rejuvenated, rep ositioned, and all the rest of that cool stuff.
See you all later, everybody.